Deceit, drama, dictatorship, deception, disease, death, doom, disorder and dilemma.
I didn’t choose my lifestyle. I was born and raised as society dictates. Parents can’t decide what they want for their kids because they’re under the regime too. They probably won’t have ever thought about living self sufficient and raising their children by the way of the land. The family home, mortgage, 2.4 children, debt, 3-piece suite on higher purchase, living next door to someone you don’t like and taxes on just about everything. Education systems with impossible timetables to find a job to fit in with half-terms and a 9-3 term day. Expensive uniforms on a conveyor belt of kids being fed pointless information then pressured at 16 to pass an exam they’re told will define their life by the teachers they have become convinced know everything. The reality is that the exam is just an exercise to categorise and measure the best ones at regurgitating the information that only want them to know and filter out the others so they don’t go to college or uni at the government’s expense. I guess the ones that perform badly are in fact the intelligent ones as they haven’t fallen for the bullshit. That is how I see it. I got 5 C’s at GCSE. Enough to get into College. I sat down at enrolment and was asked what I wanted to be. In the pub was the true answer, 3.30 pm on a Thursday at 16 nearly 17 with the atypical night out at Heaven and Hell upcoming. A pathologist I replied. I was told I had no possibility of achieving that due to my GCSE grades. I was confused. I asked him if I was to pass these A-levels and then go to Uni, I may not be able to study as a doctor but I could get a degree in biology or chemistry and then on to a PhD, will my GCSEs hold me back? Maybe it’ll take a little longer but it doesn’t mean that I can’t get to where I wanted to go. With this in mind I did get the degree but I didn’t progress with it any further as things change, but I could have done it. There’s a multitude of options available for people who both do well and also don’t do so well as long as they have the desire and are encouraged. Knowledge is power I guess and don’t give them too much or they might surpass you. Why isn’t how to do a tax return taught in school? It’s maths? I know my peers would have found it more useful than trigonometry. You’re schooled from 4-16 in certain subjects, learning certain aspects of each subject. No chance to question. Do you think that any country in the world would teach the history of their country in schools and show their history tarnished and how terrible they were? In England, we are led to believe that we are a role model for the rest of the world. Only as I grew older I realised what we did to Native American and to the people of the Republic of Ireland to name but 2.
You’re told how to live your life. Drilled in to you that you have to sleep at night and eat at set times, regardless if you’re tired or hungry. You can’t travel to this country or that country without x, y or z because you’re from your country. A country you didn’t choose. A country that was created by an invisible boundary, to make visible the dividing line of segregation and classification evident in every aspect of life today. Countries don’t exist, only in the atlas’s and on the maps of the world are they significant.
I wish I was invisible.
I’m now waking up to the constraints on my life and how I am still in their grasp. Working certain hours, even when I have to drag myself into the office, you need to work as you can’t survive on SSP. I have a mental illness that has been diagnosed as bipolar disorder. Given it a name. The body won’t recognise it because of the name. The name is a way of making the issue subjective and separate. I’m asked how I am feeling and coping with it. The language I have is limited to the words that have been created to describe something. There are no words in my language that can truly explain what I am going through. How do I explain how I feel?
These rules we live by were made by the previous generations of people who had the power. Tyrants who were hell bent on control. Their blueprint continues to the present day with no ultimate purpose or direction. They are able to do as they see fit and make it up as they go along. The country I live in has been a contradiction of its intent and it’s actions in dealing with the Covid virus. Blundering lockdowns that weren’t enough and complete ineptitude and shambolic performances by a group of people who are meant to be the best we have. You can’t tell what is satire and what isn’t anymore. You can’t question them or live outside of their ideology. There’s labels of socialists, facists, Marxist, communists but it’s all fundamentally the same just dressed up in different clothes. The media feeds mass hysteria into every household on a daily basis that is putting the fear of god in to the population. If you ignored it and looked out the window or went for a walk and interacted with people, saw things for yourself, unplugged yourself from Facebook and Instagram and tuned into reality, you could uncover that there’s an entirely different world and way of life just waiting to be enjoyed.
Is it any wonder aliens have never landed here?