My Mood Diary 📔 January 2020

This is a candid account of what I was experiencing at the start of 2020. I’d advise discretion before reading this as I wouldn’t want to reignite bad memories or instigate negative thoughts for anyone.

Stuart Sanderson

This is my mood diary from the beginning of last year. I hadn’t been seen by a psychiatrist at this point and I was really, really struggling and not in control of myself

This is a poem that I found folded up inside the diary. I have no recollection of when I wrote this whatsoever.

I posted the below on Facebook about what it is like for me to be living with mental illness day in, day out. It was World Mental Health Awareness Day and Facebook was awash with quotes and the like about support etc. I’m not after ‘likes’ on my post, I’m posting a picture of the reality of the situation. I saw quotes with an abundance of likes and comments yet my post was only commented on by people who have an experience of the same. This was when I realised that it is a toxic platform for popularity rather than anything else. It’s great for reaching a vast audience, it’s just a shame that the audience isn’t paying attention. A girl who works for the local newspaper asked for articles about life with mental illness for an article. A friend of mine sent her my post, not me. Ignored. I’m not the oracle and I don’t know anything or everything about it. I am however living it. Please read it below and see what you think 🤔

I’d self diagnosed myself with bipolar disorder for the benefit of the article

Couple of other things I had in my diary too about self harming and psychosis

Below are the entries from my Diary from January to the start of February

I’ll leave it there at the start of February. It’s only filled in till October as the Depakote took hold of my expressions.

Published by Rochdalestu

I’m a 38 year old male who has recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have found it as a new chapter in my life that has opened my eyes to a whole new perspective on myself and everything around me.

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