It’s a heavy arsenal of Psych Meds I have accumulated wouldn’t you say? But this is the thing that you have to accept. Bipolar Disorder is an absolute Tyrant that has to be silenced. I’m lucky to have found a balance now it seems. I had to persist with my psychiatrist and justify to him why I wanted to be prescribed Lithium as well as the other meds. I was functioning before the lithium was introduced. I wasn’t showing any cause for concern so to speak so my psychiatrist was happy with my condition. However, I knew something wasn’t quite right with me. So I spoke to the Psychiatric Pharmacist at Mountcroft and explained to her about how things were and my thoughts. I’d done my research and put together my notes to show what the problem was, my hypothesis on the next step and then my justification for it and my conclusion. I wasn’t telling anyone how to do their job, I was just giving them the best explanation of how I felt. The pharmacist concurred with my proposal so it went back to my psychiatrist and he authorised my prescription. I’m also on Ramipril so there’s concerns for that raising lithium levels in the blood and causing toxicity. However, as I was already on the ramipril, the introduction of lithium could be boosted by it meaning that I may only need a lower dose than usual to hit the therapeutic zone.
It’s been 5 weeks now since I started the Lithium and I’m in a very, very content place at the moment. The best I have been for a long time. I have started to get a routine in place for the first time in as long as I can remember. There’s still a lot of things that I need to do but I’m on the right track with it. I’ve made enquiries about a few guitar lessons to make me pick it up again and blow away the cobwebs. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol and I’m on orange and soda now. To be honest though, I wasn’t a big drinker anyway. I drank shandy’s and only at weekends. Started back with my language learning, Portuguese and Spanish, because it is so easy to forget what you once knew. Got myself some clothes and donated the stuff I didn’t wear to the charity shop. I’ve also been trying to eat healthy foods. I’ve not quite figured this one out yet as I’m still putting weight on every week at my check up 😂
I makes you wonder though doesn’t it. Before the medication, before the psychiatric appointments, before the self harming, before the psychosis, before the mania, before the depression, when you are yourself and not labelled or diagnosed with this or that, you didn’t feel comfortable and felt that you weren’t like the other people around you. So you don’t know what to do. Social pressures and society can then push you further down the rabbit hole. After you break and go to the doctor, they don’t put you back together as you were. You are remodelled, your brain chemistry altered by drug after drug after drug to become someone that looks like you, but isn’t really you…
Thank you for your time reading this. Hope you have a wonderful weekend 🙌