Some Might Say: The Story of Oasis 🎤🎸🙌

“True perfection has to be imperfect”
Noel Gallagher

In 1991, bassist Paul McGuigan, guitarist Paul Arthurs, drummer Tony McCarroll, and singer Chris Hutton formed a band called the Rain. Unsatisfied with Hutton, Arthurs invited and auditioned acquaintance Liam Gallagher as a potential replacement. Liam suggested that the band name be changed to Oasis, inspired by an Inspiral Carpets tour poster in the childhood bedroom he shared with his brother Noel, which listed the Oasis Leisure Centre in Swindon as a venue.Oasis played their first gig on 14 August 1991 at the Boardwalk club in Manchester, bottom of the bill below the Catchmen and Sweet Jesus. Noel, who was working as a roadie for Inspiral Carpets, went with them to watch Liam’s band play. He and his friends did not think Oasis sounded particularly spectacular, but he began to consider the possibility of using the group as an outlet for a series of songs he had been writing for several years.

Noel approached the group about joining on the provision that he would become the band’s sole songwriter and leader, and that they would commit to an earnest pursuit of commercial success. Arthurs recalled, “He had loads of stuff written. When he walked in, we were a band making a racket with four tunes. All of a sudden, there were loads of ideas.” Under Noel, the band crafted a musical approach that relied on simplicity, with Arthurs and McGuigan restricted to playing barre chords and root bass notes, McCarroll playing basic rhythms, and the band’s amplifiers turned up to create distortion. Oasis thus created a sound described as being “so devoid of finesse and complexity that it came out sounding pretty much unstoppable”.

After over a year of live shows, rehearsals and a recording of a demo, the Live Demonstration tape, in May 1993, Oasis were spotted by the Creation Records co-owner Alan McGee. Oasis were invited to play a gig at King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut club in Glasgow by Sister Lovers, who shared their rehearsal rooms. Oasis, along with a group of friends, hired a van and made the journey to Glasgow. When they arrived, they were refused entry as they were not on that night’s set list. They and McGee have given contradicting statements about how they entered the club. They were given the opening slot and impressed McGee, who was there to see 18 Wheeler, one of his own bands and to piss off his ex-girlfriend, Debbie, who was in . McGee offered them a recording contract; however, they did not sign until several months later. Due to problems securing an American contract, Oasis signed a worldwide contract with Sony, which in turn licensed Oasis to Creation in the UK. Following a limited white label release of the demo of their song “Columbia”, Oasis went on a UK tour to promote the release of their first single, “Supersonic“, playing venues such as the Tunbridge Wells Forum, a converted public toilet. “Supersonic” was released in April 1994, reaching number 31 in the charts. The release was followed by “Shakermaker“, which became the subject of a plagiarism suit, with Oasis paying $500,000 in damages to Coca Cola for the similarities to the music in one of its adverts. Their third single, “Live Forever“, was their first to enter the top ten of the UK Singles Chart. After troubled recording and mixing sessions, Oasis’s debut album, Definitely Maybe, was released on 29 August 1994. It entered the UK Albums Chart at number one within a week of its release, and at the time becoming the fastest selling debut album in the UK.

Nearly a year of constant live performances and recordings, along with a hedonistic lifestyle, damaged the band. This behaviour culminated during a gig in Los Angeles in September 1994, leading to an inept performance by Liam during which he made offensive remarks about American audiences and hit Noel with a tambourine. Upset, Noel temporarily quit the band and flew to San Francisco (it was from this incident the song “Talk Tonight” was written). He was tracked down by Creation’s Tim Abbot and they made a trip to Las Vegas. Once there, he was persuaded to continue with the band. He reconciled with Liam and the tour resumed in Minneapolis. The group followed up with the fourth single from Definitely Maybe, “Cigarettes & Alcohol“, and the Christmas single “Whatever“, issued in December 1994, which entered the British charts at number three.

In April 1995, “Some Might Say” became their first number-one UK single. At the same time, McCarroll was ousted from the band. He said he was “unlawfully expelled from the partnership” for what he called a “personality clash” with the brothers. The Gallaghers were critical of McCarroll’s musical ability, with Noel saying: “I like Tony as a geezer but he wouldn’t have been able to drum the new songs.” He was replaced by Alan White, formerly of Starclub and the brother of the percussionist Steve White, who was recommended to Noel by Paul Weller. White made his debut with Oasis on a Top of the Pops performance of “Some Might Say”.

Some Might Say single artwork

Oasis began recording material for their second album that May in Rockfield Studios near Monmouth. During this period, the British press seized upon a supposed rivalry between Oasis and another Britpop band, Blur. Previously, Oasis had not associated with the Britpop movement and were not invited to perform on the BBC‘s Britpop Now programme introduced by Blur’s singer, Damon Albarn. On 14 August 1995, Blur and Oasis released singles on the same day, setting up the “Battle of Britpop” that dominated the national news. Blur’s “Country House” outsold Oasis’ “Roll with It” 274,000 copies to 216,000 during the week. Oasis’ management argued that “Country House” had sold more because it was less expensive (£1.99 vs £3.99) and because there were two versions of the “Country House” single, with different B-sides, forcing fans to buy two copies. Creation said there were problems with the barcode on the “Roll with It” single case, which did not record all sales. Noel Gallagher told The Observer in September that he hoped members of Blur would “catch AIDS and die”, which caused a media furore. He apologised in a formal letter to various publications.

McGuigan briefly left Oasis in September 1995, citing nervous exhaustion. He was replaced by Scott McLeod, formerly of the Ya Ya’s, who was featured on some of the tour dates as well as in the “Wonderwall” video before leaving abruptly while on tour in the US. McLeod contacted Noel, saying he felt he had made the wrong decision. Noel replied: “I think you have too. Good luck signing on.” Noel later said “He gave up being in the best band in the World because of his bird. She must be an AMAZING shag!”. To complete the tour, McGuigan was persuaded to return.

Although a softer sound initially led to mixed reviews, Oasis’ second album, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?, was a worldwide commercial success, selling over four million copies and becoming the fifth-bestselling album in UK chart history. By 2008, it had sold up to 22 million copies globally, making it one of the best-selling albums of all time. The album produced two more singles, “Wonderwall” and “Don’t Look Back in Anger“, which reached numbers two and one. It also contained “Champagne Supernova“, which featured guitar and backing vocals by Paul Weller and received critical acclaim. The song reached number one on the US Modern Rock Tracks chart. In November 1995, Oasis played on back-to-back nights at Earls Court in London, the biggest ever indoor gigs in Europe at the time. Noel played a customised Sheraton guitar emblazoned with a Union Jack, commercially released as Supernova.

On 27 and 28 April 1996, Oasis played their first headline outdoor concerts, at Maine Road football stadium, home of Manchester City F.C., of whom the Gallagher brothers had been fans since childhood. Highlights from the second night featured on the video …There and Then, released later the same year (along with footage from their Earls Court gigs). As their career reached its zenith, Oasis performed to 80,000 people over two nights at Balloch Country Park at Loch Lomond in Scotland on 3 and 4 August, before back-to-back concerts at Knebworth House on 10 and 11 August. The band sold out both shows within minutes. The audience of 125,000 people each night (2.5 million people applied for tickets, and 250,000 were actually sold, meaning the possibility of 20 sold out nights) was a record-breaking number for an outdoor concert held in the UK and remains the largest demand for a show in British history.

My tattoo

Oasis were due to record an episode of MTV Unplugged at the Royal Festival Hall but Liam pulled out, citing a sore throat. He watched the performance from a balcony with beer and cigarettes, heckling Noel’s singing between songs. Four days later the group left for a tour of American arenas but Liam refused to go; the band decided to continue the tour with Noel on vocals. Liam rejoined the tour on 30 August and on 4 September 1996, Oasis performed “Champagne Supernova” at the 1996 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Liam made gestures at Noel during his guitar solo, then spat beer all over the stage before storming off. A few weeks later Noel flew home without the band, who followed on another flight. This event prompted media speculation that the group were splitting up. The brothers soon reconciled and decided to complete the tour.

Oasis spent the end of 1996 and the first quarter of 1997 at Abbey Road Studios in London and Ridge Farm Studios in Surrey recording their third album. Quarrels between the Gallagher brothers plagued the recording sessions. Be Here Now was released in August 1997. Preceded by the UK number one single “D’You Know What I Mean?“, the album was their most anticipated effort, and as such became the subject of considerable media attention. Footage of excited fans clutching copies made ITV News at Ten, leading anchorman Trevor McDonald to intone the band’s phrase “mad for it”.

By the end of the first day of release, Be Here Now had sold 424,000 units and first week sales reached 696,000, making it the fastest-selling album in British history until Adele released 25 in 2015. The album debuted at number two on the Billboard 200 in the US, but its first week sales of 152,000—below expected sales of 400,000 copies—were considered a disappointment. Predominantly written by Noel Gallagher during a holiday with Kate Moss, Johnny Depp and Mick Jagger, Gallagher has since expressed regret over the writing process of Be Here Now, adding it doesn’t match up to the standard of the band’s first two albums;

‘In the studio it was great, and on the day it came out it was great. It was only when I got on tour that I was thinking, ‘It doesn’t fucking stand up.’ People are prepared to have stand-up rows with me in the street: ‘I fucking love that album!’ And I’m like, ‘Mate, look, I wrote the fucking thing. I know how much effort I put into it. It wasn’t that much.’

Noel had been ambivalent about the album in pre-release interviews, telling NME, “This record ain’t going to surprise many people.” However, there was nobody around him to echo his reservations. “Everyone’s going: ‘It’s brilliant!'” he later said. “And right towards the end, we’re doing the mixing and I’m thinking to myself: ‘Hmmm, I don’t know about this now.’

When the album was released Oasis were woven into Britain’s cultural fabric like no other band since the Beatles, and according to their former press officer Johnny Hopkins: “There were more hangers-on, constantly telling them they were the greatest thing. That tended to block out the critical voices.” Dorian Lynskey writes, “If it couldn’t be Britpop’s zenith, then it must be the nadir. It can’t be just a collection of songs – some good, some bad, most too long, all insanely overproduced – but an emblem of the hubris before the fall, like a dictator’s statue pulled to the ground by a vengeful mob.”

After the conclusion of the Be Here Now Tour in early 1998, amidst much media criticism, the group kept a low profile. Later in the year, Oasis released a compilation album of fourteen B-sides, The Masterplan. “The really interesting stuff from around that period is the B-sides. There’s a lot more inspired music on the B-sides than there is on Be Here Now itself, I think,” said Noel in an interview in 2008.

In early 1999, the band began work on their fourth studio album. First details were announced in February, with Mark Stent revealed to be taking a co-producing role. Things were not going well and the shock departure of founding member Paul “Bonehead” Arthurs was announced in August. This departure was reported at the time as amicable, with Noel stating Arthurs wanted to spend more time with his family. Arthurs’ statement clarified his leaving as “to concentrate on other things”. However, Noel has since offered a contradicting version: that a series of violations of Noel’s “no drink or drugs” policy (imposed by Noel so that Liam could sing properly) for the album’s sessions resulted in a confrontation between the two. Two weeks later the departure of bassist Paul McGuigan was announced. The Gallagher brothers held a press conference shortly thereafter, in which they assured reporters that “the future of Oasis is secure. The story and the glory will go on.”

After the completion of the recording sessions, the band began searching for replacement members. The first new member to be announced was new lead/rhythm guitarist Colin “Gem” Archer, formerly of Heavy Stereo, who later claimed to have been approached by Noel Gallagher only a couple of days after Arthurs’ departure was publicly announced. Finding a replacement bassist took more time and effort: the band were rehearsing with David Potts, but he quickly resigned, and they brought in Andy Bell, former guitarist/songwriter of Ride and Hurricane#1 as their new bassist. Bell had never played bass before and had to learn to play it (with Noel since saying, “I was amazed that Andy was up for actually playing the bass y’know, cos he’s such a good guitarist”), along with a handful of songs from Oasis’ back catalogue, in preparation for a scheduled US tour in December 1999.

With the folding of Creation Records, Oasis formed their own label, Big Brother, which released all of Oasis’ subsequent records in the UK and Ireland. Oasis’ fourth album, Standing on the Shoulder of Giants, was released in February 2000 to good first-week sales. It reached number one on the British charts and peaked at number 24 on the Billboard charts. Four singles were released from the album: “Go Let It Out“, “Who Feels Love?“, “Sunday Morning Call” and “Where Did It All Go Wrong?“, which the first three were top five UK singles. The “Go Let It Out” music video was shot before Bell joined the group and therefore featured the unusual line-up of Liam on rhythm guitar, Archer on lead guitar and Noel on bass. With the departure of the founding members, the band made several small changes to their image and sound. The cover featured a new “Oasis” logo, designed by Gem Archer, and the album was also the first Oasis release to include a song written by Liam Gallagher, entitled “Little James”. The songs also had more experimental, psychedelic influences. Standing on the Shoulder of Giants received lukewarm reviews and sales slumped in its second week of release in the US.

To support the record the band staged an eventful world tour. While touring in Barcelona in 2000, Oasis were forced to cancel a gig when an attack of tendinitis caused Alan White‘s arm to seize up, and the band spent the night drinking instead. After a row between the two brothers, Noel declared he was quitting touring overseas altogether, and Oasis were supposed to finish the tour without him. Noel eventually returned for the Irish and British legs of the tour, which included two major shows at Wembley Stadium. A live album of the first show, called Familiar to Millions, was released in late 2000 to mixed reviews.

Throughout 2001, Oasis split time between sessions for their fifth studio album and live shows around the world. Gigs included the month-long Tour of Brotherly Love with the Black Crowes and Spacehog and a show in Paris supporting Neil Young. The album, Heathen Chemistry, Oasis’ first album with new members Andy Bell and Gem Archer, was released in July 2002. The album reached number 1 in the UK and number 23 in the US, although critics gave it mixed reviews. There were four singles released from the album: “The Hindu Times“, “Stop Crying Your Heart Out“, “Little by Little/She Is Love” which were written by Noel, and “Songbird“, written by Liam and the first single not to be written by Noel. The record blended the band’s sonic experiments from their last albums, but also went for a more basic rock sound. The recording of Heathen Chemistry was much more balanced for the band, with all of the members, apart from White, writing songs. Johnny Marr provided additional guitar as well as backup vocals on a couple of songs.

After the album’s release, the band embarked on a successful world tour that was once again filled with incidents. In late summer 2002, while the band were on tour in the US, Noel, Bell and touring keyboardist Jay Darlington were involved in a car accident in Indianapolis. While none of the band members sustained any major injuries, some shows were cancelled as a result. In December 2002, the latter half of the German leg of the band’s European tour had to be postponed after Liam Gallagher, Alan White and three other members of the band’s entourage were arrested after a violent brawl at a Munich nightclub. The band had been drinking heavily and tests showed that Liam had used cocaine. Liam lost two front teeth and kicked a police officer in the ribs, while Alan suffered minor head injuries after getting hit with an ashtray. Two years later Liam was fined around £40,000. The band finished their tour in March 2003 after returning to those postponed dates.

Oasis began recording a sixth album in late December 2003 with producers Death in Vegas at Sawmills Studios in Cornwall. The album was originally planned for a September 2004 release, to coincide with the 10th anniversary of the release of Definitely Maybe, However, long-time drummer Alan White, who at this time had played on nearly all of the band’s material, had been asked to leave the band. At the time, his brother Steve White stated on his own website that “the spirit of being in a band was kicked out of him” and he wanted to be with his girlfriend. White was replaced by Zak Starkey, drummer of the Who and the son of the BeatlesRingo Starr. Though Starkey performed on studio recordings and toured with the band, he was not officially a member and the band were a four-piece for the first time in their career. Starkey played publicly for the first time at Poole Lighthouse.

Slane Castle, Ireland in 1999

A few days later, Oasis, with Starkey, headlined the Glastonbury Festival for the second time in their career and performed a largely greatest hits set, which included two new songs — Gem Archer’s “A Bell Will Ring” and Liam Gallagher’s “The Meaning of Soul”. The performance received negative reviews, with NME calling it a “disaster”. The BBC’s Tom Bishop called Oasis’ set “lacklustre and uneventful … prompting a mixed reception from fans”, mainly because of Liam’s uninspired singing and Starkey’s lack of experience with the band’s material.

After much turbulence, the band’s sixth album was finally recorded in Los Angeles-based Capitol Studios from October to December the same year. Producer Dave Sardy took over the lead producing role from Noel, who decided to step back from these duties after a decade of producing leadership over the band. In May 2005, after three years and as many scrapped recording sessions, the band released their sixth studio album, Don’t Believe the Truth, fulfilling their contract with Sony BMG. It followed the path of Heathen Chemistry as being a collaborative project again, rather than a Noel-written album. The album was the first in a decade not to feature drumming by Alan White, marking the recording debut of Starkey. The record was generally hailed as the band’s best effort since Morning Glory by fans and critics alike, spawning two UK number one singles: “Lyla” and “The Importance of Being Idle“, whilst “Let There Be Love” entered at number 2. Oasis picked up two awards at the Q Awards: one People’s Choice Award and the second for Don’t Believe the Truth as Best Album. Following in the footsteps of Oasis’ previous five albums, Don’t Believe the Truth also entered the UK album charts at number one. To date the album has sold more than 6 million copies worldwide.

In May 2005, the band’s new line-up embarked on a large scale world tour. Beginning on 10 May 2005 at the London Astoria, and finishing on 31 March 2006 in front of a sold-out gig in Mexico City, Oasis played more live shows than at any time since the Definitely Maybe Tour, visiting 26 countries and headlining 113 shows for over 3.2 million people. The tour passed without any major incidents and was the band’s most successful in more than a decade. The tour included sold-out shows at New York’s Madison Square Garden and LA’s Hollywood Bowl. A rockumentary film made during the tour, entitled Lord Don’t Slow Me Down directed by Dick Carruthers was released in October 2007. A second DVD included live footage from an Oasis gig in Manchester from 2 July 2005.

Oasis released a compilation double album entitled Stop the Clocks in 2006, featuring what the band considers to be their “definitive” songs. The band received the Brit Award for Outstanding Contribution to Music in February 2007, playing several of their most famous songs afterwards. Oasis released their first ever digital-only release, “Lord Don’t Slow Me Down“, in October 2007. The song debuted at number ten in the UK singles chart.

The band’s resurgence in popularity since the success of Don’t Believe the Truth was highlighted in February 2008 when, in a poll to find the fifty greatest British albums of the last fifty years conducted by Q magazine and HMV, two Oasis albums were voted first and second (Definitely Maybe and (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? respectively). Two other albums by the band appeared in the list – Don’t Believe The Truth came in at number fourteen, and the album that has previously been heavily criticised by some of the media, Be Here Now, made the list at no. 22.

Oasis recorded for a couple of months in 2007 – between July and September – completing work on two new songs and demoing the rest. They then took a two-month break because of the birth of Noel’s son. The band re-entered the studio on 5 November 2007 and finished recording around March 2008 with producer Dave Sardy.

In May 2008, Zak Starkey left the band after recording Dig Out Your Soul, the band’s seventh studio album. He was replaced by former Icicle Works and the La’s drummer Chris Sharrock on their tour but Chris was not an official member of the band and Oasis remained as a four-piece. The first single from the record was “The Shock of the Lightning” written by Noel Gallagher, and was pre-released on 29 September 2008. Dig Out Your Soul, the band’s seventh studio album, was released on 6 October and went to number one in the UK and number five on the Billboard 200. The band started touring for a projected 18-month-long tour expected to last till September 2009, with support from Kasabian, the Enemy and Twisted Wheel. On 7 September 2008, while performing at Virgin Festival in Toronto, a member of the audience ran on stage and physically assaulted Noel. Noel suffered three broken and dislodged ribs as a result from the attack, and the group had to cancel several shows while he recovered. In June 2008, the band re-signed with Sony BMG for a three-album deal.

On 25 February 2009, Oasis received the NME Award for Best British Band of 2009, as well as Best Blog for Noel’s ‘Tales from the Middle of Nowhere’. On 4 June 2009, Oasis played the first of three concerts at Manchester’s Heaton Park and after having to leave the stage twice due to a generator failure, came on the third time to declare the gig was now a free concert; it delighted the 70,000 ticket holders, 20,000 of whom claimed the refund. The band’s two following gigs at the venue, on 6 and 7 June, proved a great success, with fans turning out in the thousands despite the changeable weather and first night’s sound issues.

After Liam contracted laryngitis, Oasis cancelled a gig at V Festival in Chelmsford on 23 August 2009. Noel stated in 2011 that the gig was cancelled due to Liam having “a hangover”. Liam subsequently sued Noel, and demanded an apology, stating: “The truth is I had laryngitis, which Noel was made fully aware of that morning, diagnosed by a doctor.” Noel issued an apology and the lawsuit was dropped. The band were due to perform on 28 August 2009 at the Rock en Seine festival near Paris, however mid-way through Bloc Party‘s set at the festival their frontman Kele Okereke (alongside Bloc Party tour manager Peter Hill) announced that Oasis would not be performing. Two hours later, a statement from Noel appeared on the band’s website:

“It is with some sadness and great relief…I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.”

Liam and the remaining members of Oasis decided to continue under the name Beady Eye, releasing two studio albums until their break-up in 2014. Liam started a solo career and has released three studio albums, with Arthurs joining him occasionally on tour. Noel formed a solo project, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds and has released four studio albums, with Sharrock and Archer later joining as members. Bell reunited with former band Ride.

On 16 February 2010, Oasis won Best British Album of the Last 30 Years – for (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? – at the 2010 Brit Awards. Liam collected the award alone before presenting his speech, which thanked Bonehead, McGuigan and Alan White but not Noel. Liam threw his microphone and the band’s award into the crowd. On 15 March 2010, Liam defended his actions at the awards ceremony, saying: “I’m sick of it all being about me and Noel, the last couple of months has pretty much been all about me and him so I thought it was only right to mention the other lads who played on the album and the best fans in the world,” and “I thought [throwing the award] was a nice gesture to give this to the fans, obviously it was misinterpreted as per usual.”

Time Flies… 1994–2009, a compilation of singles, was released on 14 June 2010. The album became the band’s final album to reach number one on the UK Albums Chart. On 6 July 2011, Absolute Radio uploaded a video to YouTube where Noel Gallagher speaks about the night Oasis ended. Noel states within this video: “If I had my time again I would have gone back and done the gig. I’d have done that gig and I’d have done the next gig and we’d have all gone away and we could have probably discussed it. We may never have split up.”

On 26 February 2014, Noel via the band’s official website announced that the first three studio albums would be reissued, remastered and re-released throughout the remainder of 2014 to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Definitely Maybe. A remastered 3-disc version of Definitely Maybe was released on 19 May 2014.

A documentary titled Oasis: Supersonic was released on 26 October 2016, which tells the story of Oasis from their beginnings to the height of their fame during the summer of 1996. Produced by the same team behind the Academy Award-winning biopic Amy, Oasis: Supersonic features up close and personal footage, as well as never before seen archive material and interviews with the band.

My Definitely Maybe and Liam tattoo

On 29 April 2020, Noel announced through the band’s social media pages that a new demo recording, “Don’t Stop…“, had been found, and would be released at midnight the following day. The track, previously only known from a recording during a soundcheck in Hong Kong, was rediscovered during the COVID-19 pandemic, and would be the first track to be released by the band in over 10 years. The demo passed 1 million views on YouTube on the morning of 3 May 2020 and reached number 80 on the UK Singles Chart based on streaming alone.

In July 2021, in celebration of the 25th anniversary of Oasis’s two record breaking concerts at Knebworth Park in August 1996, a new concert documentary film, combining new interviews, previously unreleased archival footage, and live concert footage from both nights, titled Oasis Knebworth 1996, was released in cinemas on 23 September 2021. The release of the film marks the first time that concert footage from the two gigs has ever been released. The documentary was released on home media on 19 November 2021, alongside a double live album of the same name, containing 20 songs from across both nights.

Finished My Album 💿

I’ve just finished writing my album entitled “Bipolar Disorder”. Hope you like it 👍

Bipolar Disorder – Track Listings
  • 1. Self Medication
  • 2. Mania
  • 3. Antipsychotics
  • 4. The Psychiatrist
  • 5. Sorted for SSRI’s
  • 6. Psychosis
  • 7. The Art of Depression
  • 8. Lithium
  • 9. Hibernating Insomniac
  • 10. Bipolar

1. Self Medication

Do I need a shrink or an exorcist?
All these wounds are self imposed
Lines up your arm like a list
Scars on your body that turn and twist

Numb to pain, numb to feeling, the depression is gripping tight around you
Numb to pain, numb to feeling, the depression is blowing kisses right at you

Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can think it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction

Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can think it’s fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction

Do I need a shrink or an exorcist?
When wounds are self imposed
Grimace face and clenching fist
Trickling blood pressure released

Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can think it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction Blood, panic, scars, addiction

People can think it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction

2 Mania

Feel the electricity you conduct
Like a racing car flashing by
Leaving a jet stream in the sky
A thousand miles an hour
Soaring high, where the eagles fly

When you’re talking with your friends
No one can keep up with the topics you change
Ten different stories all rolled into one
Where does this energy and expression come from

Mania, mania, mania is it a good day for ya?
Mania, mania, mania is it the right way for ya?
Mania, mania, mania you listenin’ to what I gotta say to ya?

Mania, mania, mania is it a good day for ya?
Mania, mania, mania is it the right way for ya?
Mania, mania, mania you listenin’ to what I gotta say to ya?

***Musical Interlude and riffs and shit***

3 Antipsychotics 

Walking passed people on my way to town, thinking they are all looking at me.
Voices in my head chattering away, I don’t understand what they are saying to me

Antipsychotic’s are saving me
I’m sinking into the pits of paranoia and psychosis
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus

Tune your head into the colours and the waves sounds
Put your ear to the ground and listen to the cheers of the crowd

Antipsychotic’s are saving me
I’m sinking into the pits of paranoia and psychosis
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus

4 The Psychiatrist 

Doctor of the mind
Welcome to mine, I hope you like what you find, it’s definitely one of a kind
Unique, different than all the others
It’s consumed by chaos, hidden under covers

Please let me remind you
Textbooks will only guide through
Are you observing the truth or are you being lied to?
The mind named itself, it gave everything a name, are you just part of its game?

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Thoughts become lessons taught
Semblance to stability sought
Eternal battle with yourself fought
Chasing your sanity that eludes to be caught

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

5 Sorted out for SSRIs 

Oh, is this the way they say I’m meant to feel?
Is my happiness found when I’m walking through a field?
I don't understand these lows and highs
Never mind ‘cos I’m sorted out for SSRIs

And tell me when the comedown lands
It’ll probably arrive without any sounds
Oh, in the middle of the night
It feels alright, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you come down

Oh yeah, hot sweats wearing your dressing gown
Your head is empty like a Ghost Town
Oh, and no-one seems to know why it is
They’re giving out these SSRIs to all the kids

In the middle of the night
Normality is very, very far away
In the middle of the night
Sleep is a fight, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you come down

Prozac, Cipramil, Priligy, Lustral, Seroxat, Faverin, Cipralex and Brintellix

Prozac, Cipramil, Priligy, Lustral, Seroxat, Faverin, Cipralex and Brintellix

In the middle of the night
It feels alright, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you come down
Oh, oh, then you come down
Oh, what if you never come down?

In the middle of the night
It feels alright, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you don’t come down
Oh, oh, then you don’t come down
Oh, what if you don’t come down?

6 Psychosis 

7 The Art of Depression 

Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
The sound of silence echoes by
Darkness is questioning you why
Head on the devils shoulder you begin to cry

Numb to pain, numb to lie
Immunity from any emotional tie
Dropping into the oblivion, sigh sigh sigh
Dark and silent the deepest high

Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
The sound of silence echoes by
Darkness is questioning you why
Head on the devils shoulder you begin to cry

Right back to the Dawn of day
Darkness is talking to you, a lot to say
Forcing sleep now, it’s the only way
To get me away from this painful day

Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
The sound of silence echoes by
Darkness is questioning you why
Head on the devils shoulder you begin to cry

8 Lithium 

Sitting on a train with empty pain
Voices in my head keep me sane
Take this potion and swim an ocean
Ride the chaos and commotion

Today I met my friends, they’re in my head
In my head
Today I got the benz, laying in my bed
In my bed

Today I met my friends, they’re in my head
In my head
Today I got the benz, laying in my bed
In my bed

Start your walk to stabilise your thought
Reality is now yours to sought
Race is on for it to be caught
Light at the end of the tunnel for which you’ve fought

Today I met my friends, they’re in my head
In my head
Today I got the benz, laying in my bed
In my bed

Slowly getting perceptions in line
Normality arrives, it’s about time
Clear of conscious, it’s a sign
Hold your head up high, doing fine

Today I met my friends, they’re in my head
In my head
Today I got the benz, laying in my bed
In my bed

Today I met my friends, they’re in my head
In my head
Today I got the benz, laying in my bed
In my bed

9 Hibernating Insomniac 

Wide awake asleep in bed
Chaos run around your head
Tossing and turning every way
Sleep eludes you however you lay

Sleeping all day to fall asleep again
The only problem is you can’t pick when
Head wide awake but it’s contents broken
Sleep provides escape but it’s only a small token

Can’t sleep, won’t sleep
Now sleeping for a week
One minute sleep plays hide and seek
The next it’s it’s yours to keep

Can’t sleep, won’t sleep
Now sleeping for a week
One minute sleep plays hide and seek
The next it’s it’s yours to keep

One stormy, sleepless, lonely night
One sleep filled, silent, dreamy night
Opposites don’t attract they fight
Complete darkness or shining light

Can’t sleep, won’t sleep
Now sleeping for a week
One minute sleep plays hide and seek
The next it’s it’s yours to keep

Can’t sleep, won’t sleep
Now sleeping for a week
One minute sleep plays hide and seek
The next it’s it’s yours to keep

10 Bipolar 

Living with Bipolar Disorder: My Bipolar Music Album 💿

I’ve not quite finished my album yet but here’s what I have done so far. I’m well aware it isn’t going platinum anytime soon. Any comments welcome, constructive criticism welcomed with open arms, suggestions observations and thoughts about it would be brilliant for me to hear. Absolutely no tolerance for vindictive, malicious or anything disrespectful and not needed. Being a full time cunt is a tiring hobby to have, smiling is much easier. I don’t know why more people don’t do it ☺️

“Bipolar”

  • 1. Self Medication
  • 2. Mania
  • 3. Antipsychotics
  • 4. The Psychiatrist
  • 5. Sorted for SSRI’s
  • 6. Psychosis
  • 7. The Art of Depression
  • 8. Lithium
  • 9. Hibernating Insomniac
  • 10. Bipolar

1. Self Medication

Do I need a shrink or an exorcist?
All these wounds are self imposed
Lines up your arm like a list
Scars on your body bend and twist

Numb to pain, numb to feeling, the depression is gripping tight around you
Numb to pain, numb to feeling, the depression is blowing kisses right at you

Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can think it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction

Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can think it’s fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction

Do I need a shrink or an exorcist?
When wounds are self imposed
Grimace face and clenching fist
Trickling blood pressure released

Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can think it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction Blood, panic, scars, addiction

People can think it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
People can say it’s all fiction
Blood, panic, scars, addiction
It’s our calm to the storms in our heads affliction

2. Mania

Feel the electricity you conduct
Like a racing car flashing by
Leaving a jet stream in the sky
A thousand miles an hour
Soaring high, where the eagles fly

When you’re talking with your friends
No one can keep up with the topics you change
Ten different stories all rolled into one
Where does this energy and expression come from,

Mania, mania, mania is it a good day for ya?
Mania, mania, mania is it the right way for ya?
Mania, mania, mania you listenin’ to what I gotta say to ya?

Mania, mania, mania is it a good day for ya?
Mania, mania, mania is it the right way for ya?
Mania, mania, mania you listenin’ to what I gotta say to ya?

***Musical Interlude and riffs and shit***

3 Antipsychotics

Walking passed people on my way to town, thinking they are all looking at me.
Voices in my head chattering away, I don’t understand what they are saying to me

Antipsychotic’s are saving me
I’m sinking into the pits of paranoia and psychosis
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus

Tune your head into the colours and the waves sounds
Put your ear to the ground and listen to the cheers of the crowd

Antipsychotic’s are saving me
I’m sinking into the pits of paranoia and psychosis
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus
Antipsychotics restore my focus

4. The Psychiatrist

Doctor of the mind
Welcome to mine, I hope you like what you find, it’s definitely one of a kind
Unique, different than all the others
It’s consumed by chaos, hidden undercover

Please let me remind you
Textbooks will only guide you
Are you observing the truth or are you being lied to?
The mind named itself, it gave everything a name, are you just part of the game?

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Thoughts become lessons taught
Semblance to stability sought
Eternal battle with yourself fought
Chasing your sanity that eludes to be caught

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

5. Sorted for SSRIs

Oh, is this the way they say I’m meant to feel?
Is my happiness found when I’m eating a meal?
I don’t understand these lows and highs
Never mind ‘cos I’m sorted for SSRIs

And tell me when the comedown lands
It’ll probably arrive without any sounds
Oh, in the middle of the night
It feels alright, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you come down

Oh yeah, hot sweats wearing your dressing gown
Your head is empty just like a Ghost Town
Oh, and no-one seems to know why it is
They’re giving out these SSRIs to all the kids

In the middle of the night
Normality is very, very far away
In the middle of the night
Sleep is a fight, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you come down

Prozac, Cipramil, Priligy, Lustral, Seroxat, Faverin, Cipralex and Brintellix

Prozac, Cipramil, Priligy, Lustral, Seroxat, Faverin, Cipralex and Brintellix

In the middle of the night
It feels alright, but then tomorrow morning
Oh, oh, then you come down
Oh, oh, then you come down
Oh, what if you never come down?

6. Psychosis

7. The Art of Depression (Unfinished)

Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
Hallelujah (kiss the sky)
The sound of silence echoes by
Darkness is questioning you why
Head on the devils shoulder you begin to cry

Sinking

Any collaborative effort welcome

8 Lithium

Sitting on a train with this empty pain

This one is a work in progress as I don’t want to simply copy Cobain 😂

9 Hibernating Insomniac

Wide awake laid in bed
Chaos run around your head
Tossing and turning every way
Sleep eludes you however you lay

Can’t sleep, won’t sleep
Now sleeping for a week
One minute sleep plays hide and seek
The next it’s it’s yours to keep

Sleeping all day to fall asleep again

**Again any collaborative input welcome***

10. Bipolar

Bonus track: Weekend Rockstar

Living with Bipolar Disorder: Song Writing ✍🏻

Here’s a song that I’ve written called “The Psychiatrist”.

The Psychiatrist

Doctor of the mind
Welcome to mine, I hope you like what you find, it’s definitely one of a kind
Unique, different than all the others
It’s consumed by chaos, hidden undercover

Please let me remind you
Textbooks will only guide you
Are you observing the truth or are you being lied to?
The mind named itself, it gave everything a name, are you just part of the game?

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Thoughts become lessons taught
Semblance to stability sought
Eternal battle with yourself fought
Chasing your sanity that eludes to be caught

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain
Delving inside the insane
Delving inside the brain

This is Simply, What I See…

This blog is just an account of my life at this moment in time. My regular routine and my regular interactions. The trials and tribulations of the bipolar, what I’ve been doing in my spare time. My thoughts and feelings about stuff and then generally what I want to do with my future.

Sleepwalking with a Hibernating Insomniac

Let’s start off with the biggest annoyance of my life, and it has been for a good while now, my sleep. Since the New Year I am going to say (possibly before then) I have been struggling monumentally with my sleep. As Edward Norton says in Fight Club, with insomnia everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. It is. The only problem is that I have an insane ability to function on no sleep and I don’t look like a character from the Walking Dead. The medication for my bipolar has off label uses for insomnia and they are noted that they improve sleep. This is because they have an effect that stops you from going into a REM cycle of sleep and keeping you in a cycle which is easier to wake up from takes away the groggy sensation you can have. As my medication is for Bipolar, even though they possess these properties, they don’t have any impact on me. All sleep medication is in essence a crock of shit. The root cause of the insomnia is what needs to be addressed, but a three day course of Zopiclone or Lorazepam for me is sometimes all that you want. I’m just having a few monumental sleeps at the moment. Had 35 hours last weekend, and 29 hours were I lost a Thursday. It sounds insane but it’s not. For me, I have had prolonged periods of no sleep and my body is just getting back to its equilibrium with the sleeping. I have given a name to my irregular sleeping pattern. Anyone want to volunteer to sleep (purely scientific purposes) with hibernating insomniac and report back the data?!? There could be a live feed too so you guys could see that staying up for five days is not an issue for people with bipolar.

Single Person’s Supermarkets

This isn’t a reference to the supermarket dating fiasco that happened to me a few years ago. Please see below if you don’t know what happened. It’s embarrassing, it’s probably not the most stupid thing I’ve done, but it’s something I can still laugh about now? You have to be able to laugh at yourself before you can laugh at others!

The single person’s supermarket actually is just something as simple as the products like fresh fruit and vegetables, your perishable items are sold in single person quantities. Obviously frozen items or items you can freeze are ok. I find myself getting so much waste and throwing away more than I use in regards to the veg whilst making a meal (autocorrect put mess then instead of meal 😆). Am I the only one? Surely it isn’t just me, regardless of my limitations in the kitchen, I am getting the ingredients as per the recipes. I made a lasagna last week and it was bloody gorgeous. Only problem with that is that it was for 8 people. After the 5th day I was fed up with it and threw it out.

Fears of Becoming Cliff Richard

I’m 41 in just over a fortnight (I’m a Scorpio ♏️), I’m over a decade single. I’m just wondering what you ladies consider to be positives and negatives for when you are weighing up a guy? I’ve noted down below a few points on myself

  • I can iron
  • I’m well mannered
  • You will be the best looking one in our relationship
  • I like writing (can write poetry or songs for you if you wanted)
  • I’m affectionate with a lot of love to give
  • I’m 5ft 9 (175cm)
  • I’m not a pushover but I believe it’s a ladies prerogative to choose what we watch on TV
  • Everything you do with the right person is just that little bit better than anything else
  • I’m hard work. I’ll bend your head inside out
  • I’m a creature of habit and about as adventurous as Goldfish
  • I laugh in my sleep (so I’m told, proper laughing my head off laughing)
  • I can’t have the volume on the TV on an even number
  • I don’t like even numbers. Has to be an odd number wherever possible. It’s not a box of 6 eggs, it’s a box of 5 plus an extra 1
  • I can’t stand mash potatoes
  • Coldplay! Don’t even bother
  • In fact Coldplay, Mash Potatoes, Cats, Tories and Cricket are my top 5 dislikes. If you like any of them then you and I are over before we started!

If you enjoy good sex too then come one, vamos, what we waiting for! 😆

These days there is just far too much pressure and social ritual that we’ve created for our lives. At 18 you need to move out, at 21 you need to get a house, at 25 married and by 30 you have two children and this pattern is repeated across the country. Never once do you hear anything like, “do you love him/her?” or “why do you need 5 bedrooms? Can you afford it”. It’s status and keeping up appearances. I’ve had a few raised eyebrows when I say I am at home still. Little do these people know that I own the house and I stay with my parents so I can help them and they look after me and my bipolar. It always makes me smile when I’m told by someone in rented accommodation paying £800 per month that I would be better off moving out. I’ll let you know about that pal?!?!

At the end of the day it’s all bricks and mortar and an inanimate object that we make into a home. Do I want anyone else to come over and invade my space. Not at the moment I don’t.

My massive pain in the arse problem is you see, what is a cracking idea or suggestion on Monday about Wednesday night is an absolutely nauseating prospect by Tuesday afternoon. Planning to do trivial things is best left to spontaneous impulse to avoid spontaneously combusting 😆

Satirical Media and the Brainwashed Population

I actually watched the news a couple of days ago. I won’t be scrambling to get in front of the Tv ready for the next broadcast. There’s some absolute twats that live in our society and there’s an absolutely nauseating, disturbing occurrence of vile acts being performed in order to inflict pain and suffering to others. However, from my perspective I was thinking about the reporter focusing on colour of skin and secondary factors that are going to have more impact than what has happened. Let me explain. A person was attacked by someone who had a knife. Dimly lit public pathway, terrible CCTV coverage. There was no mention of these factors being addressed. What was said was that the ethnicity of the attacker and victim, being a statistic in fact and it being the so and so attack this year. I’m fed up with hearing it. The colour of the skin doesn’t matter, it’s a problem for society to wake up and get a grip. If there’s a high crime rate then it’ll correlate with poverty and people that have nothing. Invest into a community hall or social centre and ask the kids locally to join in the build where possible. I bet you have a talented painter that has an opportunity now to paint and show his skills. He has a location for educating others about painting too if he wants to at the centre.

I just heard the news turn around the incident so it sat in there as another statistic. London knife crime is just a statistic that unfortunately as long as people don’t want to give the people something positive to focus on, will always be there.

I’m all well and good sitting here and preaching about what should happen. I haven’t been to London nor do I know what life is like down there. I’ve seen enough gritty TV dramas though and I had a few friends at uni who were from London. You have to give people a chance to showcase their talents. Even if it’s a mobile pop-up creative bus that visits areas or something. I don’t know.

Distant Entrance of the Depressive Disorder

As far as the eye can see there is a shadow on the horizon. A familiar figure with the outline and gait of my unique nemesis. Always primed with a fresh appearance and brings new experiences for you to endure. Never once have I experienced anything twice from this consuming phase, never once have been able to use my experiences and cope with its impact. It’s silent as it creeps up on you and consumes your every fibre of your body. Silent as you scream out in angst that it brings, silent as it looks you in the eye as your fave is wrapped in pain and worry. I’m ready for you to come and meet me now. Wait until you get a load of silence from your new worst nightmare.

Same Routine, Expecting Different Outcome

Whatever it is that you are doing in life, absolutely anything, if you want to change the situation and alter the outcome then you must address the process you’re doing in order to get your current results. You have to know what you want and not settle for anything less. If you don’t know what you want then you will end up with a lot of what you don’t. Alter your approach properly. Sticking feathers up your arse doesn’t make you a chicken and neither does being half hearted in your application yield you anything positive. Problems that are persistent in life could be issues that are being looked at from the wrong direction. There’s no thing as a bad opinion, bad opinions became the world’s greatest inventions, philosophical mantras and won countless wars.

Changing My Guitars Strings All By Myself

I’m very proud of myself. I normally get a friend to do it in exchange for six beers but spontaneously this evening I leapt up into action and laid my beautiful lady on my bed and cut her strings with panache revealing her naked body which I rubbed down with Dunlop 65 polish and cleaner. I rubbed Lemon oil in to her neck and marvelled at her astonishing beauty. I attached the strings with no problems at all and now we are all set to make sweet music together as I have vowed to dedicate at least ten minutes per day to play the guitar. First song is Talk Tonight by Oasis. I can play this song but I’m not settling for that. I’m aiming now to master it! Watch this space!

Finally, I got a question for the ladies?

So, you just get in from work after an awful day, I’m currently finishing off the ironing, I’ve ran you a bath and poured you a glass of wine to enjoy while you’re soaking, your favourite CD is on too. Lasagna is in the oven and it’ll be about half an hour.

Marks out of ten?