Living with Bipolar Disorder: Substance Abuse & Bipolar

You see the link made to substance abuse and mental issues. I’ve been there and self medicated for quite a bit before I went to the Doctor. Firstly the feeling of being in a whole new world in regards to your emotions and feelings is bloody scary. You don’t automatically think about it being depression or similar illnesses. You do tend to have the mindset that depression is sadness and melancholy but its name doesn’t do it justice. But this is a great example of some of the problems with explaining your situation with the fact that there’s no words at times to accurately describe how things are. So I found that Cocaine was a beneficial substance for my situation. I’m not condoning its use or being an advocate for its use, but…

One night at uni I got a few bits and bobs from the chemistry lab that the Prof said would be best for my experiment. Now I can tell you that I came clean to my Professor and he was a pretty cool guy and he advised me to test this and do that to get the result I was after. You unfortunately don’t have a lecture on the synthesis of narcotics nor do you do any tests on the purity etc etc. I was basically thinking of getting the purity of the drug established and then I was going to see at what amount it goes beyond it’s therapeutic zone. Generally speaking a drug is most effective just below the precision dose and excess of this is when it becomes intoxicating and causes problems not just limited to the sleepless nights, loss of appetite, but feelings of crawling bugs on skin, involuntary movements of the legs and hands, and in some cases psychosis and paranoia. It’s not going to be the first experiment in history that promotes cocaine and legalises it, as that’s not what I was thinking of, but it’s different when you use a substance for your improvement instead of abusing it to the nth degree and flirt with its unwanted effects oblivious (or ignorant) to its dangers and what it is actually capable of doing.

The reasoning behind it is that I was waiting every day for the feelings to surface and interrupt whatever I was trying to do. Impacting my study, sleep, relationships with friends and I have to say I didn’t like the person I was at the time. It’s made me understand what it must be like to be consumed by yourself, something you are doing, and you don’t know what to do. To make some people unfortunately end their pain in their own way, is heartbreaking and the reality is that it’s happening too often and still there isn’t enough support in place to at least give people an opportunity and potentially save lives. It’s on that scenario that I was using cocaine. It’s an instant hit, and it’s two hours of departure from your chaotic mind. It’s just two hours but I’m only guessing that if I didn’t do that I could have just got myself in a sinister situation. I wasn’t using the cocaine recreationally and it was purely for the sake of my sanity.

So, below are the signs, risks and possible side effects of Cocaine use;

Now, I take Lithium daily and look at the side effects it brings with it;

I’m simply looking at the two drugs to show you the dangers that legalised pharmaceuticals still have. If you are listening to the politicians and telling you that everything illegal is bad for you and evil but all the legalised things you buy or are prescribed are beneficial and good for you, then you really need to wake yourself up.

The illegal drug trade is that lucrative and the money they make is astronomical. These people aren’t going to give up their business to the government and let them legalise the drug and then these people can get a 9-5 job or something. Never going to happen. The countries in South America that produce the coca leaf are poverty stricken areas of the world and the people need to put food on the table. Agree with me or not, but South America is the biggest producer in the World and the United States is the biggest consumer. Bush went to war on the cartels and the war on drugs was nothing but a smokescreen. Looks like you’re doing something but in fact you’re not. Instead of funding arms and weapons for political wars in other countries, the discussion with leaders of other countries to see it investments in the people that are on the breadline and their job prospects might be more constructive?! If you have a problem with something that you continually fail to address but constantly con your public that you are winning your made up war, is absolutely pathetic. As soon as people wake up and see what is going on right in front of their eyes, probably be a good day for all. Ignorance of the USA is driving the production and consumption up and up.

Observing others though on nights out was interesting. They are loud, brash, gobby, exuberant and sometimes a complete nuisance but I just chilled out with it. I’m not with the same brain chemistry as you I guess?!

Cocaine is classified as a SNDRI (Serotonin, Norepinephrine, Dopamine Re-uptake Inhibitor) which inhibits the transporters of these three monoamines causing a massive increase in the concentration of them raising neurotransmission of each and inducing the feelings of euphoria and happiness. These drugs have been researched in their aptitude for treating depression, eating disorders and ADHD. They are an extension of the drugs SSRI and SNRI, however the addition of Dopamine is a cause for the addictive nature that is prevalent with Cocaine.

Other SNDRIs are Mazindol, Nefazodone, Nefopam and sometimes Venlafaxine is sometimes referred to as a SNDRI but it is extremely unbalanced as it reaches the point where it interacts as SNDRI would.

As I said before I am not promoting the use of a substance that is prohibited in this country, but from a Chemistry standpoint it’s not a negatively detrimental compound. It’s just not been understood how to make the best use for it. You have recreational use that abuses it and ingest way to much. Then again if you bought a packet of paracetamol and took the lot you could be in serious trouble. That’s ok though as it’s taxable.